Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
