i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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