Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
