at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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