I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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