If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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