can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
