I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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