sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
he's single and there are thong briefs.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
