I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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