Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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