Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
