Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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