I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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