I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
