Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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