she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize