Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
