you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
