:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
high people should be assigned attendants
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
