The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Randomize
