I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
