I am in a vortex of obligation.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
