Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Randomize