Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
