I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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