a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
