am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
