that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
