I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Someone signed my nipple.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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