She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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