Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
