What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
