the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
