We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
