I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
