Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
