Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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