I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
