Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
