Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
