Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
