Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Randomize
