i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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