I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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