Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
