what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
