so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
