Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
