I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
