So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
do herpes really smell.
Girls should come with a carfax report
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
