I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
