Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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