sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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