kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize