I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize