Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
