Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
