So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
